To bean or not to bean?

Sometimes I get that feeling that I’m entering a jelly bean contest. I put my two dollars in the little kids charity box, I take my coupon, I look at the jar of jelly beans and think about how great it would be to eat them all.
Sometimes I try to use my very limited powers of mathematics. I try to calculate the circumference, try to count the number of beans vertically and horizontally without making it look obvious that I’m counting. (As if making an educated guess would really be cheating and I might be disqualified.) Then my tongue sticks out the side of my mouth as I very carefully try to complete the simple sum in my head.
Iv’e got it!
I think.
It has to be close…maybe only a bean or two away!!
Its so simple…how could I possibly get it wrong?

But sometimes, there is no education that can save you, no enlightened vision, no secret trick. It’s just a gamble.
I don’t know how many beans there are, I don’t know if my guess will be right.
Is it my destiny to eat those beans or were they already divined for some other lucky soul?
I’m hungry. Screw jelly beans!
I’m going to go eat some cheese! And some freakin’ coffee!!!
Now there is a bean you can depend upon.

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